Five more weeks

I have just over five weeks left. The midwife thinks my little girl is in breech. I hope she comes to her senses and turn in the next two weeks. I am a bit worried about what could happen if she didn't. Come on, Emka, don't be like that.

My feet, ankles, wrists and fingers are swollen. In fact, I am probably swollen all over but I choose not to see it. I had to take my wedding ring off the other week... My skin is a little bit different where the rings were... Almost as if marriage was like a tattoo... injected under your skin with thousands little pricks.

I liked the pain when my tattoos were done. I liked the intimacy of the pain, the reality of it... Maybe that is why I like marriage...? A word "wife" still gives me shivers, still makes me excited sometimes.

I am not afraid of the implications but there are things I don't like... like "everydayness", like having to be a responsible, sensible adult with virtually no room for crazy things.

I am falling asleep now.